On the Grand Pillars and Enduring

Several martial arts are privileged to be the means by which ancient cultural traditions are kept alive. Kung fu, t’ai ji quan, silat, and many other arts have techniques and traditions that are hundreds of years old. The art that I practice has Japanese, Chinese, and Hawaiian lineages. Each lineage contributes practices that have been passed down from generation to generation, proven effective and upbuilding for the students who train in the art.

One practice from our Chinese side that is particularly meaningful for me is the Grand Pillars. The Grand Pillars consist of sixteen different poses that the student stands in for a given period of time, holding each pose on both the left and right side for a period anywhere from 10 seconds to a few minutes. While this may sound easy enough, anyone who has taken yoga can probably tell you that poses are not to be underestimated. Going into it you think, “I’m young, I’m fairly strong, and I’m in pretty good shape. I bet I can stay pretty low and get through these fine.” And for the first few poses, you probably can. Then after a few minutes the burning kicks in. The pain travels from your quads into your calves, your gluts, and your abs. It’s front, center, and unavoidable. Once you start Grand Pillars there’s no way out. Sure, you could cheat a little bit by letting yourself raise up an inch higher, taking a fraction of the searing edge off of your quadriceps. But the thing is, when everyone in the room is holding the same pose, any and every movement is amplified. And even worse than having the instructor see you cheat is personally knowing that you cut a corner in your training. There is no shortcut for Grand Pillars and no mystical secret to getting through it. They are a test of endurance and are meant to strengthen both body and mind.

During a retreat in San Diego we went through the Grand Pillars with Sensei. Before we began, Sensei reiterated that there are no secrets to getting through the Grand Pillars, but there are two things that will help immensely in enduring them. The first is breathing. In order for your muscles and your body to function well, you have to breathe correctly. If you hold your breath, you will quickly deplete your muscles of their source of energy. The second thing Sensei mentioned was to think about something outside of yourself. He said that though it was hard, we would do much better thinking about something- anything- other than the pain that was coursing through the body.

The Grand Pillars are more than just a martial arts practice; they are life itself. Suffering is inevitable, and there will be times when the pain seems unbearable. All we want to do is move out of the situation that we’re in, but many times we’re not able to change our circumstances. Instead, we must endure. We endure better when we are breathing and when we are focused on something other than our own pain. By breathing, I mean more than just inhaling air (though indeed there may be times when this is literally all we can do). To truly breathe is to take in and receive that which sustains us. By focusing on something other than our own pain, I do not mean being in denial of our own pain or needs, but rather taking our focus off of ourselves and placing our focus upwards toward God and outward toward the needs of other people.

Accordingly, the Christian must understand both what sustains her and where her focus should be. Scripture says that God is who sustains and upholds us, and God himself affirms this:

Behold, God is my helper; the Lord is the upholder of my life. – Psalm 54:4

My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me. – Psalm 63:8

The Lord upholds all who are falling and raises up all who are bowed down. – Psalm 145:14

…Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous hand. – Isaiah 41:10

God’s promise to sustain us is one that we can powerfully claim:

Uphold me according to your promise, that I may live, and let me not be put to shame in my hope! – Psalm 119: 116

Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit. – Psalm 51:12

Thus, what the psalmist proclaims boldly, God confirms with promises we can cling to, and we know that He has the power to keep this promise:

He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power. – Hebrews 1:3a

And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.” – Matthew 28: 18

Once the Christian understands what sustains her, it is easier for her to shift her focus above and beyond the situation. Pain, discomfort, and dissatisfaction can be amplified to the degree to which we are self-focused. While we do need to honestly look our own problems in the eye, we don’t have to stare at them. On its own, dwelling on our imperfections and pain does nothing to alleviate them. But when you believe in a God who is so powerful that he upholds the universe by his word, a God who holds all authority in heaven and on earth, a God who has given his only Son to save you because he loves you so much, and a God who can give you new life and redeem any circumstance, you now have something that is truly worthy of your focus.

If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things that are above, not on the things that are on earth. – Colossians 3:1-2

           

When I meditate on who God is and what he has done for me, my mind is naturally drawn upward in prayer. I look up from my own suffering and see the compassionate face of Christ as He suffered for my sake. As I pray in gratitude to Him, my prayer extends outward toward other people in my life – starting with those who are enduring the Grand Pillars with me. I think about other people in my life who are suffering, and I pray for God to uphold them in the same way that he upholds me. Praying during something like the Grand Pillars doesn’t necessarily mean that they are any easier, but it does in some inexplicable way make them more enjoyable. Perhaps it’s because I come away from them feeling spiritually stronger in addition to feeling physically and mentally stronger. By praying through the Grand Pillars I am training myself to turn to God during painful times – times when I desperately need to cling to his promise to uphold me.

During the Grand Pillars, your body is screaming at you to move while your mind is simultaneously fighting to stay still. It is a literal representation of Mark 38:14, where “the spirit is indeed willing, but the flesh is weak.” Practices like this help the martial artist to bring the body further under the control of the will, so that we are capable of executing that which we desire to achieve. For the Christian, this has unique meaning in light of the earlier part of the aforementioned verse, where Mark warns to “watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation.” Our will is not naturally God’s will, and we need to train in the ways of righteousness if we are to act in a manner consistent with Christ.

           Often times students practicing the Grand Pillars will drop a knee to the ground midway through. When that happens, the instructor quickly tells them to get back up- and the student rises and assumes the same position – still shaking, sweating, and wanting nothing more than to rest their muscles. But they rise again because while their muscles may have given up, their minds have not. You would think that after dropping they would just stay down, but as the student resumes their position they learn that they can continue despite the pain.  They learn that they are capable of more than they thought they were, and they push themselves beyond limits they had originally set. The Grand Pillars teach a simple lesson that a wise man once told me: you’re not finished when you’re tired, you’re finished when you’re done.

I don’t practice the Grand Pillars as often as I should, but the thing about a solid pillar is that once you’ve built it, it stands strong. That there is a God who loves me, has saved me, redeemed me, and is with me every day, and that he has a greater purpose for my life: these solid pillars have truly upheld me during times of suffering. When you are suffering, I offer you these two things: breathe, and lift your mind upward to the Lord and outward to others. By this may you train in righteousness and progress in the art of endurance.

On Power and Grace

The main martial art that I discuss in these posts is Gozan-ryu Saito ninjutsu- a familial martial art which is at once beautiful, violent, traditional and practical.  My class is taught by Lance Wisdom, a guy who is genuinely one of the nicest (though also likely most dangerous) men that I know. He has taught me much about what it means to stand at odds with an enemy and what it really takes to defeat an enemy should there be need to engage.

One of Lance’s specialties is improvised weapons. He once spent an entire class teaching us how to fight with pens and books. He demonstrated a certain technique on me; one minute I was standing upright, the next minute I was held upside down, pinned against a wall, with a pen dug into my knee in a way that I quite simply did not understand in any manner other than it would hurt very badly should he apply full pressure.  It is important to note that he never applies these techniques out of anger and he is not trying to show off how tough he is. He exposes us to (gentle) pain to help us mentally prepare for real world conflict, and he teaches us carefully because he cares about us and would never want anything bad to happen to us.  We know that Lance is very strong, and we respect him for how he uses that strength and shares it with us.

In my first year at UCLA, our class had a visit from Sensei. For those of you not familiar with martial arts, sensei is a respectful term for a master of the art and the teacher of the teachers. Our sensei, Sensei Kawika, was and is Lance’s teacher. His biography is extensive, including work with the SEALs, the CIA, degrees from Ivy League schools, and oh yeah- he’s an ordained Episcopal priest (more on that later). As those of us in the class listened to Lance introduce Sensei with a great deal of respect, we too prepared a respectful attitude for a man who has authority as a master.

Sensei spoke for most of the time, but he did demonstrate a few techniques on Lance. Now, I’m not sure how many of you have ever watched one full grown man throw another full grown man across a room, but let me tell you, it is humbling. We watched as Sensei did to Lance as Lance does to us- putting him into submissions and locks with the same ease with which he might open a door. It was an odd thing to watch a man that I know to be so strong be that vulnerable at the hands of another. My logic went like this: Lance is more powerful than I am, and so I have a healthy fear and respect for him. Sensei is more powerful than Lance is, and therefore my fear and respect for Sensei should be proportionally greater. And indeed, it was.

At Sensei’s beckoning, Lance rushed full speed at Sensei. Sensei’s reaction happened very quickly, so much so that I don’t think I can describe it with much accuracy. What did happen was that Sensei shouted (ki-ai’ed) and lifted his hand into a uniquely shaped fist that stopped on a dime, poised directly in front of Lance’s eye. I believe Sensei’s foot had trapped Lance’s foot and planted it on the earth, stopping Lance dead in his tracks- a fitting expression given that Lance’s eye was literally inches away from the hand that could effortlessly thrust through his eyeball and into his skull.

It was at that moment that Sensei said something that I will never forget. With one hand poised lethally, he pointed down at his enemy with his other hand and said that the best thing that would ever happen to our enemy would be that they had attacked us and not somebody else.  He said that his faith taught him not to kill, and that he did not want to take any man’s life. However, it is only by having the power to take a life that you have the power to refrain from doing so.

This was how Sensei started to explain why some of the first things students are taught in this art are techniques to kill in combat.  I was especially listening to this, because it was one thing that had always bothered me about this art. I am a Christian, and God instructs that I am not to murder. Yes, I want to know how to defend myself, but I don’t think I would ever want to actually kill another human being. And here is the Sensei of this art, teaching these techniques and yet also an ordained priest in the Christian faith. How is my faith- our faith- to be reconciled with this art where techniques to kill are taught right from the get go? If that is where we start from, to where do we progress?

The answer, I came to realize, is that we progress toward mercy. In his demonstration with Lance, Sensei was completely confident in his control within the situation. He knew that he could end the threat at any time, and having this power meant that he also had the capability to make a conscious choice of whether to kill or not kill. In other words, he had the power to exercise mercy. I thought about that in light of all the martial arts training I have had. I pictured what my reaction would actually be if I were to be attacked by someone with the express intent of harming or killing me. Under ideal conditions I might be able to gracefully land my blows and escape, but life is not lived under ideal conditions. Even with hundreds of hours of training, I would still have adrenaline coursing through my veins, and I would still be terrified to a certain extent. And if I wasn’t careful, if I wasn’t in control, it would be entirely possible that in my panicked state I could end up harming that person far beyond what I would normally feel comfortably inflicting, and possibly even killing them. Because I would not have control or power, I would not have the capability to exercise mercy. This is what Sensei and Lance aim to give us with our training- not only power over our enemies, but power even to the point of showing grace in the form of mercy to our enemy.

            As powerful as Lance is, and as powerful as Sensei is, they are but men. Their power, my power, your power- any height or degree of power to which any one person can attain is still infinitesimally pathetic in comparison to the power of the living God. God created us, fathomed us even before the beginning of all things. He created the universe out of nothing. He sees all things and knows all things; he is present in every single situation simultaneously. God doesn’t just feel confident that he has control in a situation, he actually does have constant and complete control over every atom in the universe. With a single word, he could destroy us in an instant. If there is anyone who is worthy of our fear and respect, it is the living God himself.

            And yet, notice what this all-powerful God has done: though we gravely offend him in the vilest of ways, though we violate every command from the source of pure goodness and truth, though we have spit in the face of our Creator who has the absolute power to annihilate us- he offers us mercy. Our sin against a truly perfect God is eternally insolent- infinitely more offensive than any transgression that one human being can commit toward another. But because God is completely powerful, he is able to show complete mercy to his enemies (us). Instead of instantly delivering the death blow that he is fully justified to give, God reaches out to us and offers complete forgiveness for all of our sins toward him. By accepting Jesus Christ and believing that He paid the ultimate price- the death that you deserve for your offenses against God- you cease to become an enemy of God. You surrender to the one who is more powerful than you, and he extends to you an unfathomable amount of mercy. Not only do you cease to become an enemy, but you are adopted as a son into the family of God- taught, cared for, and loved with the compassion that a good father shows toward his son.

Things to consider:

-What kind of power do you ascribe to God? What is your place before God in light of this? What is your justification for this? 
-Would you be prepared to face God as an enemy?
-Most importantly: if God were extending his mercy toward you, would you be willing to accept it?

On Tunnel Vision and The Bigger Picture

God drew my attention to something this week that is perfectly fitting as a follow up to this blog's previous discussion of awareness.

One of the trademarks of ninjitsu in the form that we practice is its fundamental understanding of how real world violence happens and what the natural human response to that violence is. We consider how an enemy might attack, what our likely response to the attack will be, and how we can best prepare ourselves in light of this. We always make two basic presumptions: that there are multiple attackers and that any/all of them are armed with weapons. Multiple attackers with weapons significantly raise the stakes of any encounter and in a sense represent the worst case scenario. By training for the worst case scenario, we hope to gain the skills and the confidence to handle whatever kind of confrontation comes our way.

Weapons in particular introduce a phenomenon known as tunnel vision to the confrontation. Tunnel vision occurs when the enemy draws a weapon, such as a knife or a gun, and the defender's field of vision focuses in on the weapon to the point that they are not necessarily paying attention to the rest of their surroundings. When someone draws a deadly weapon, our natural reaction is to concentrate our attention- all of our attention- on the weapon and nothing else. The weapon itself becomes the threat as opposed to the situation as a whole. When tunnel vision occurs, we aren't looking around us. We aren't considering the possibility of other attackers. Instead of seeing the situation in its entirety- and possibly an easy escape route- all we can see is danger. All the techniques, all the training, all the things that we know to be effective have the potential to go out the window when we resort to panicked responses that leave us even more subect to danger.

Lately I've been seeing tunnel vision happen in my life, though thankfully not in the sense of attackers with deadly weapons. Rather the "threat" that I've seen myself focusing in on is my lack of income. I've been unemployed now for almost 3 months with little to no income coming in. When I left my old job (due to disagreement to business practices) I had planned ahead of time, saving enough money for a few months rent, bills, etc. I knew that things would be hard and that it would take me a while to find a job, but I had full confidence that God would provide a job for me. But as the weeks passed by, and then the months, I found that confidence edging away. My thoughts would continually come back to the fear that I wouldn't find a job, that I wouldn't be able to pay my rent, that somehow God wouldn't keep his promise to take care of me.  And try as I might my mind would circle back to my bank account, to my expenses, and to Sallie Mae's impertinent emails. The threat of not having a dependable income bypassed all my other concerns and seemed the most imminent priority to deal with.

My tunnel vision got to the point where I couldn't even appreciate all of the amazing things that God is providing for me or blessing me with in other areas of my life. Instead of seeing how my free time is enabling me to support and be there for my friends, I would feel guilty that I wasn't doing something "more meaningful" than blessing other people. Instead of recognizing my volunteering hours as an opportunity for growth and further service, I would feel slighted that I wasn't getting something more lucrative out of my time. And instead of being grateful for my health, my lovely new apartment, my safety, my loved ones, and for crying out loud my eternal salvation through redemption in Christ's blood, I found myself subconsciously resenting God for not giving me what I really need (as if I were to know what was in the first place). In my tunnel vision, I was sinning against the living God. And the potential damage of this is far more serious than any physical consequence that might result from a lack of income.

Tunnel vision in the physical and the spiritual sense are alike in that they remove us from the bigger picture of what's going on. For every one element that we narrowly focus in on, we're missing out on one hundred other elements that are simultaneously and significantly impacting us. And without seeing that bigger picture, how can we possibly expect to react appropriately? Truth, and the truth of where we are (in every sense of the phrase) is all encompassing, and our vision of it needs to be accordingly comprehensive.  We must never lose sight of the bigger picture.

So how to we avoid tunnel vision? We train. We train and train until we come to believe and to trust that the techniques we practice without a weapon are exactly the same and just as effective in a situation with a weapon. We practice with substitutes for weapons until the martial arts techniques replace even our natural tendency toward tunnel vision. Indeed, the art itself becomes our instinct and what we act upon first and foremost. This is not to suggest that we will be without fear when someone draws a deadly weapon on us. No amount of training can prepare you fully for a life threatening situation. But in the instance that it does come, we turn first to what is proven beneficial instead of to what is unknown and fear driven.

If someone comes at us with a knife, we need to trust that all of the training we've ever done is still effective and beneficial for our situation. If we're facing hardships, we need to trust that all of God's promises are still just as true as they ever were. Whatever the threat may be, it might change our situation but it does not change the truth. God alone is the Creator, and he alone is sovereign over this universe. God never breaks his promises. Ever. He is unchanging from eternity past to eternity future and we can trust that the truth of the Gospel will never change.  God is the rightful king to the ultimate throne and the entirety of our lives should be lived in light of what he has done for us. We must train in righteousness according to this truth, putting into practice our trust in the Lord and his ways, so that however trying our circumstances may be our natural response will be faith in the Lord.

Yes, I need a source of income. God knows this. But his word tells me to seek first His kingdom, and I will trust that this really is what I need first and foremost. God has already resolved the biggest problem that I could ever face- atonement for my sin- and in light of that bigger picture, there is no reason to fear.

Are you able to see the bigger picture in your circumstances?
What do you have tunnel vision on right now?

On the Death Circle and Engaging the Enemy

When I started taking ninjitsu at UCLA, I didn't know anything about the philosophy of the art. I'd taken other martial arts classes before, and there was a lot of the same content across the board: being aware of your surroundings, reacting to your attacker, putting up a good defense, etc. I guess I figured that ninjitsu would probably involve something along those lines, maybe with some nunchucks incorporated in somehow.
So I was quite surprised when my instructor, Lance, began one of our first classes by teaching one of the main principles of ninjitsu.

"Alright, today we're going to learn about something called the Death Circle."

Excuse me, what?

The Death Circle, for those of you unaware, is the distance between your fingertips and your body when your arm is outstretched in front of you with your hand held flat, palm toward the earth. The concept is simply this: that should any person enter that radius with the express intent of seriously harming you, you must expect to fight to the death- and the person who dies will not be you. You need to be so continually aware of your surroundings that the enemy is never able to enter your Death Circle. However, even with the best decisions things can and do go wrong sometimes and if the enemy does come that close to you, you must be prepared to fully engage.
Lance went on to explain that this wasn't intended to be just some scary concept to sound bad-ass. Rather, the term is a reflection of the traditional roots of the art. Ninjitsu in this form evolved as a natural defense of commoners against the pillaging samurai who would violently raid villages during their final years of declining power. If you were a villager and some warrior was coming at you aiming to take your family, your livelihood and your very life, you had to be ready to fight to the death against him. You could not let the enemy into your Death Circle or you would die.

"Notice how I'm saying 'enemy,' not 'opponent,'" Lance continued. "'Opponent' implies a game, but we don't play games." He described how a ninja perceives the enemy, engages with the enemy if needed and gets the job done. No flashy moves. No admiring your work. Just do what you need to do to get home to your family.

Hm. Not quite what I'd heard in any other martial arts class.

I thought about that a lot after class. My main question was, now that I don't have to worry so much about rogue samurai raping and pillaging West LA, what does this no-nonsense recognition of/engaging with the enemy look like for me?

Enter the concept of spiritual warfare.

When I was a little girl, I was taught that spiritual warfare was happening on the earth. My parents taught me that there were things in the spiritual realm that humans can't see, both good and evil, and they were fighting for influence in this world. The message I got was that as Christians, we were to stay away from things that the Bible said was evil, and as long as we followed God we would be safe from spiritual evil. Now as a child I believed whatever I was taught about God and the concept of spiritual warfare was no exception. However, it wasn't something that I particularly wanted to dwell on. I mean, what was I supposed to do with that? Good and evil are having some sort of battle and I'm supposed to do something about it? It was a lot easier for me to just believe all of the nice, fluffy aspects of religion as opposed to trying to wrestle through some kind of spiritual contention that was happening in a realm I couldn't see.

As I got older, I started to appreciate the existence of the spiritual realm. I started to see more of the evil that I had been warned about, and not all of it could be explained through human actions and emotions. They were simple things, really. The look in a stranger's eye that inexplicably sent chills down my spine. An insidious little voice in my head telling me self-deprecating things that I knew weren't true. Hearing about horrible things that people did and trying to understand how one human being could possibly do things like that to another. These things added up and it got to the point where personally, I couldn't deny any longer that there truly was a presence of evil in this world, and there was a very good chance that part of that evil existed in the spiritual realm. But even then, I didn't see what all of this had to do with me. My physical, mental and spiritual health seemed alright to me, and I figured I'd satisfied whatever general requirements there were for "good" that those evil things were probably going to leave me alone.

As with so many other things in my life, learning the Gospel changed my entire perspective. I learned that God was the supreme source of good, and that he had created all things good originally. I learned that God had an enemy, Satan, who was very real and that this enemy's deception incited humans toward committing original sin. Sin was introduced into this world, with death being the ultimate consequence. Every ugly, torturous, mean thing that somebody ever said or did to somebody else was caused by this sin. I realized that rather than being a "good" person, I was a sinner just like everybody else and that I had acted very evilly toward other people and toward God. I saw that Jesus, through his death and resurrection, conquered death once and for all and that he took the punishment for all of the sins that anyone had ever committed- including me. And because I believe that is true, I will get to be with Jesus for eternity.  Satan knows that Jesus has the power to defeat all evil, and so it is the devil's desire that people not come to believe in Jesus as the Savior.

From the spiritual perspective, the Death Circle is still a relevant concept for today. We may not be villagers on guard from warriors, but whether we like it or not we are standing on a spiritual battlefield and good and evil will continue to contend in our lives regardless of our individual stance on the manner. The crux of the matter is this: evil exists. The devil exists. And if you are a Christian aiming to spread the Gospel and give God glory, the devil does not like what you are doing. As a matter of fact, he will do anything he can to make sure you are not doing those things. The devil is your enemy, and he will engage you with the intent to kill.

So imagine you have a real enemy who is actively trying to deceive and ultimately kill you, by any means necessary. How would you react to that? What kinds of things would you want to know in order to prepare? What are the implications of choosing not to believe that this enemy exists?

Once you recognize an enemy, how close do you let that enemy get to you? Are you letting them sit at a 'safe' distance or do you let them into your Death Circle, where the real damage can be done?

Finally, when the enemy does engage you, how do you react? Or do you react at all?

"Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour." -1 Peter 5:8

On Awareness

About a year after I began taking ninjitsu classes, I started joining my instructor to help out with the self defense classes that he taught on campus. We would get there early, warm up, discuss what would be taught, and watch as the students filed in. Most of them were a little nervous and not sure what to expect.  Some of them were really excited at the prospect of learning how to punch, kick, throw, etc. As we got started it was usually clear that everyone there was ready to start their training in some bona fide kick-assery.  But I don't think any of them ever anticipated how each class would begin.

"Ok, let's get started. How many doors are in the room? How many windows?"

Immediately heads turned to look around, but the students were instructed not to "cheat." The point of the exercise is to test your awareness of your surroundings, and not letting the students look was a way to get them to realize their failure to pay attention to the room they were in. After the point set in, then we considered together all of the doors, windows and any other possible escape routes from the room. Once that was done, the real curveball got thrown.

"Ok, now where's the tiger?"

A puzzling look descended on the students' faces and you could see the question on their minds: what tiger? Usually at least one astute student would proudly say, "There!" and point to a small stuffed tiger perched in a corner or atop another object in the room.  The tiger had been hidden before class began in a spot that was not in direct line of sight but still out in the open. The instructor used this teachable moment to talk about how awareness and instincts can be tied together. We need to be able to identify when there is something unusual or "off" in our surroundings so that we can be quickly alerted to cues for danger. While the stuffed tiger posed no danger, an unattended box or knapsack may not prove to be so inocuous depending on its location in public.

Most self defense teachers I've talked to say that if they could, they would spend the entire self defense class talking about the importance of paying attention to surroundings and discussing good strategies for how to do so. The only problem is that if they did that, no one would ever stay for the classes because people want to learn the physical techniques associated with self defense. Most people consider these to be the "real" tools to use in the face of danger. Yet the importance of self awareness cannot be stressed enough.  I don't care how proficient I become at a technique to break a choke hold, I would rather never have to use the technique at all and avoid any situation where I would ever need to break a choke hold. And that starts with smart decisions: do I need to walk down this dark path, or can I take the more brightly lit path one block further? Do I need to listen to my iPod and block out the noise around me right now, or can I wait a few minutes until I'm in my car to hear music? Do I stare down in my purse hunting for my keys and cell phone as I walk blindly, or are those objects I can have in hand before leaving my initial location? In order to make the best decision for the situation you're in and to really avoid danger, full awareness of your surroundings is absolutely imperative.

In the same way, we must constantly be aware of our spiritual surroundings. If our physical surroundings affect the amount of danger threatening our bodies, then likewise our mental and spiritual surroundings will affect the danger threatening our psyches and our souls. While we often consider the safety of our bodies to be of utmost importance (and indeed it is a significant matter, not to be taken lightly), the fact remains that no matter how safe our paths are, our bodies will inevitably die. The soul, however, is eternal, and to disregard its safety would be foolish at the least and fatally tragic at worst.

Spirital dangers are harder to observe, and they will differ for each of us. The following are a few things to consider regarding recognition of mental/spiritual dangers:

-Where are you at spiritually? That is, what do you believe about your own soul? If this isn't something that you've ever seriously sat down to think about, I'd encourage you to take the time to consider that now.

-What are you surrounded by? What's talking to you the most during the day? What are you looking at for most of your day? Everything around you is sending you a message of some sort; it is worthwhile to consider what those messages are.

-What do your instincts tell you about your surroundings? How do you react to those instincts? For instance, if you're in a situation where your instinct is to be angry or afraid, stop and consider- why do I feel this way? What is the source of my anger/fear and what I should be doing in response to this?

The Gospel

Before I can explain what martials arts has to do with God, I must first explain what God has to do with us. What follows below is the Gospel, written in my own words and expressing the message that is given through the Christian Holy Bible. Everything that I write will be based on the presumption that this is true. The Gospel is the lens through which I (and all Christians) aim to view everything else. So if you are ever reading my posts and are confused about what I'm talking about, please come back here and read this, and hopefully it will shed some light on my writing. But should you ever have any questions on anything that I write, please do not hesitate to let me know.

The Gospel, in the words of Ashley C

God is. God has always been. God will always be. He exists outside of time and outside of all Creation because he is the Creator.  Nothing that exists was made outside of him. He is all powerful, fully capable of doing anything and everything, with raw power the force of which we can only imagine. He is bigger than anything we can imagine, holding the universe in the palm of his hand. He knows all things simultaneously, from the smallest particles of energy to the massive galaxies we can only glimpse. God is the single most powerful entity that there is. He is the source of truth, as he created all existence. Only he knows the full extent of his creation and the reason for everything within.  He is also absolutely righteous, the single source of everything that is good, pure, right and lovely. God is the source of true hope and peace. He is the standard by which all things must measure against because he is the Creator and God. He exists in heaven; heaven is the place where God the father is. In heaven he exists in his rightful glory, on a throne that shines blindingly bright and with angels surrounding him continually crying out how holy he is. God, and God alone, is entirely worthy of all glory and praise.

            God, in his infinite wisdom, created the Earth and everything in it. He created man, and he created woman, both in his image. He created them perfectly, and dwelt together with them in a perfect place. He gave them one commandment: not to eat the fruit of a particular tree from the garden they lived in. The woman was deceived, and chose to eat the fruit that God commanded her not to. She gave the fruit to her husband, who also chose to eat.  When they did this, the man and the woman disobeyed God, and brought forth something called sin into the world.  Sin is any action, thought or attitude that goes against God’s commands or his perfect nature.  Because God is absolutely perfect, he cannot tolerate sin in his presence.  Therefore the man and the woman could no longer dwell with God, and they became separated from God, severed from his presence because of their sin.

            Sin changed the man and the woman physically and spiritually. Because life is from God, and sin is against God, the consequence of the man and the woman’s sin was that they would lose their lives because of it. So when sin entered the world, death entered the world as its natural consequence. The sons and daughters of that first man and woman carry both their physical and spiritual legacies: no human can ever be perfect and without sin, and as such all humans will die because of their sin.

            God is absolutely perfect, and nothing less than pure holiness can be in the presence of his perfection.  Because no human being is purely holy on their own, they cannot be in his presence. Every human who is imperfect cannot be with God, and the only place to go apart from God after death is hell. Therefore, every human being deserves to go to hell. Hell is the place where perfect justice is executed, in the sense that every person will receive the exact punishment that they deserve for sinning against the perfectly holy God.  The gravity of this sin is so great that those entering hell will pay this price for eternity.

            God deeply loved mankind, and he continued to love them even after they sinned greatly and grieved his heart.  God gave mankind his law, partly to protect them from sin but also to show them how good and how holy he was, and to show mankind how far away from God’s holiness they really were. God wanted to show them that they needed a savior in order to come close to him. God demanded animals for sacrifices to show us that there is a consequence for our sins, and that consequence is death. God spoke to man and protected him; he proved himself faithful time and time again for hundreds of years. But man was still sinful, and he could never ever fulfill the law and be as holy as God. Man strayed from God and sought out other things, things that deceived him and seemed to be more important and worthwhile than the almighty God of the universe. Sin and evil increased in the world, and man continued to live and to die and to mock the holiness of God.

            But God would not let his beloved children be without hope and lost to the evil of the world. He sent his Son, Jesus, to the earth to proclaim the truth about God. Now as the son of a human is human, so the Son of God is God.  And because the Son of God was born to a woman, he was both things- fully God and fully man. No one who has ever lived was like Jesus, because Jesus is God as he existed on earth. 

Because Jesus is God, he could do things that no other human could do. He healed people, sometimes just by touching them, sometimes without even being in their presence. He healed blind people and allowed them to see for the first time. He healed paralytics so they could rise and walk.  He cast out demons from the people they oppressed with a simple word. Thousands of people followed him as he traveled, longing to be with him and listen to the words that spoke.  And he never turned them away. He made time to teach people and to love them even when it was hard, even when he was tired, even when he just wanted to be alone.  He told them the truth about God, and about how following religious rules would never bring them closer to God because ultimately they would still be sinners.  He told them to repent of their sins and to follow him.  He told the truth to people, even when it was offensive and they did not want to hear it.  He told the truth because he lived perfectly according to God’s will.  In absolutely everything that he did, Jesus sought to glorify his father by loving him and being perfectly obedient to him.  Jesus never sinned.

Even though God created men, most men did not recognize God when he walked amongst them. Many people hated Jesus and the truth that he preached, and they persecuted him. They brought him to court and told lies about him, yet even when faced with death at the hands of the insubordinate creatures which he himself had created, Jesus did not seek his own glory on earth or use his power to hurt us.  We beat him and spat in the face of this man who had done nothing but gave everything he had to serve others in love.  Then he was crucified; he was nailed to a cross as the people whom he had loved so compassionately watched him bleed and die, mocking him in his pain.

Now the death of this man, Jesus, was different from any other person’s death, because his death served as a sacrifice. While man had sacrificed animals for hundreds of years according to the law, these could never make up for the offenses we committed against God. Jesus, however, lived a perfect life and his blood was so precious that when he offered it, it served as a perfect sacrifice for sins.  He shed his blood and died in our place so that we would not have to.  And even though Jesus was God’s beloved Son, perfectly loving and obedient, God chose to accept his sacrifice and to look at Jesus the way that he looks upon sinners. God’s wrath was poured out, and the weight of the eternal punishment of hell that is fully deserved by each and every human who has ever existed was inflicted on Jesus at his death.

            Jesus was the one and only person who ever lived (and ever will live) that did not deserve the punishment of hell. He was the one person who was truly righteous, the one person who lived and loved perfectly according to God’s will.  And because he was God, it was fully within his power to rise off of that cross and leave us to the punishment that we deserved. But Jesus did not do that. Jesus, in the single most unfathomable act of sacrificial selflessness the world has ever known, stayed on that cross, and endured the punishment that we deserved. He was separated from God the father, the source of all that is good, pure and true and suffered a pain so intense that nothing could ever compare to it.

            Jesus endured this because he loves us, and he knew that this sacrifice was the only way to reconcile mankind with God.  The only way that we could be with God is if we were without sin.  None of us were capable of that on our own, and we were damned because of it. But Jesus was God, and He lived without sin. He was the only person who could ever live without sin. And when he chose to give up his life, death could not hold him, because he had no sin.  And so, three days after he was killed, Jesus came back to life. Jesus is alive today, in heaven, and he will live forever in glory, having been given all authority in heaven and on earth by God the father.

            This story, called the Gospel, changes the entirety of mankind’s relation to God. When we die, we will stand before God in all of his glory and might, and we will be held accountable for all of the things that we have done during our lives. God will demand repayment for our offenses, and on our own we have absolutely nothing to offer and no hope of escaping the punishment we deserve. Left alone, we will go to the hell we rightfully deserve. But if we have come to know and to believe the truth of the Gospel, if we repent of our sins and believe that Jesus Christ was God, and if we acknowledge that he died on the cross in our place and rose again to conquer death, God does an amazing thing. When we stand before him, he will look at us the way that he looks at Jesus. In God’s sight, we will be perfect, holy and blameless because Jesus already paid the price for our sins. And not only will we get to stay in the presence of God, but we get to dwell with him for all eternity in pure light and peace, adopted and loved as his precious children.

Now, God offers this gift of salvation to the entire world.  Jesus made the sacrifice for all of your sins, no matter who you are, and he extends his love and mercy to you. There is nothing that you can do to earn this gift or even to deserve it; God's grace must merely be accepted. If you believe that these things are true, you can pray to God and tell him that you believe that Jesus paid the price for your sins, and you can ask him to come into your life. “Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” (Romans 10:9)

Feel free to let me know what your reaction to this story is, whatever it may be.

On Purpose

Six years ago I was a freshman at UCLA taking every opportunity to learn something new. From South American history to Semitic languages, my mind was continually blown by the limitless things there were to explore at a world class university. Since I’d always been a kinetic learner and active person, that curiosity extended to the recreation classes at UCLA as well. When a friend of mine showed me capoeira, an Afro-Brazilian martial art that incorporated music and dance, I signed up the very next day. Little did I know that this first exploit into martial arts would turn into something much bigger than I could have imagined. By graduation, I’d tried my hand at capoeira, krav maga, kung fu, and ninjitsu- and I was hooked.

Gozan Ryu ninjitsu became a particularly special art for me.  The instructor made a great impression on me as somebody who was confident yet humble. This was a guy who knew exactly what he was talking about, but he didn’t need to prove how tough he was to anyone. He just taught what he knew, and he let the art speak for itself.  And as he did so, I started to pick up on the unique philosophy of this art. Ninjitsu seeks understanding of human behavior- what we do, why we do it, how to read other people and your surroundings and how to use all of that to your advantage. The art itself is practical, recognizing the world for what it is and encouraging its students to test their limits so that they can do what needs to be done (whatever the situation in life may call for).  But most importantly, I perceived that ninjitsu had a heart to it, an underlying thread of compassion to suggest that although this art could and would be as violent as the enemy that rose against it, the ultimate goal was not to win or even to pursue a fight- but rather, to be as ready as possible for any fight before it ever began.

And so, although ninjitsu was the last art I tried at school, it has been the one that has kept me coming back. Even when I entered “the real world” with a full time job, I found ways to manipulate my schedule so that I could get to my ninjitsu class, if only for part of the time.  For two more years I continued to go to the class and train any way that I could manage. Over time, I noticed that the concepts I was learning in ninjitsu class started to crop up in the area of my life that I least expected it: my faith.

Just as college had opened up a period of personal exploration of academic subjects and physical activities, it had also initiated my personal exploration into the spiritual realm. Although I’d grown up in a Christian home, I had never really understood why we believed the things that we did, or how or why my life was supposed to be any different because of that. But I was willing to try to find out. A very caring girl on my floor took me to at least four different churches until I found one that I felt comfortable with. And so there I was, 18 years old thinking I knew who God was and that I had things figured out with him, and then a young pastor from a local start up church completely threw me upside down -in a way that no martial artist ever could- by preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ. It wasn’t that I hadn’t heard about Jesus before- I’d heard about him all my life. But this was the first time that my ears were opened to it, that my mind was opened to it, and that my heart was opened to it. I can’t describe what happened any way other than that I knew that what he was saying was true. I was a desperate sinner who needed Jesus’s love and forgiveness, and when I asked Jesus for that he graciously gave it to me. And my life has never been the same since.

So now I have Christianity and I have ninjitsu, two seemingly unrelated things...and yet I’m finding that the two are not so entirely distinct as I had presumed. There are so many ways that the lessons learned in martial arts can be applied to living out the Christian faith. This blog is my humble attempt to explain how. What is expressed here is my own collection of thoughts, musings, observations, anecdotes and lessons that relate to fighting, faith, and fighting the good fight of faith :) All are welcome to join and to question, and I hope that you all will enjoy reading this much as I enjoy writing it.