God drew my attention to something this week that is perfectly fitting as a follow up to this blog's previous discussion of awareness.
One of the trademarks of ninjitsu in the form that we practice is its fundamental understanding of how real world violence happens and what the natural human response to that violence is. We consider how an enemy might attack, what our likely response to the attack will be, and how we can best prepare ourselves in light of this. We always make two basic presumptions: that there are multiple attackers and that any/all of them are armed with weapons. Multiple attackers with weapons significantly raise the stakes of any encounter and in a sense represent the worst case scenario. By training for the worst case scenario, we hope to gain the skills and the confidence to handle whatever kind of confrontation comes our way.
Weapons in particular introduce a phenomenon known as tunnel vision to the confrontation. Tunnel vision occurs when the enemy draws a weapon, such as a knife or a gun, and the defender's field of vision focuses in on the weapon to the point that they are not necessarily paying attention to the rest of their surroundings. When someone draws a deadly weapon, our natural reaction is to concentrate our attention- all of our attention- on the weapon and nothing else. The weapon itself becomes the threat as opposed to the situation as a whole. When tunnel vision occurs, we aren't looking around us. We aren't considering the possibility of other attackers. Instead of seeing the situation in its entirety- and possibly an easy escape route- all we can see is danger. All the techniques, all the training, all the things that we know to be effective have the potential to go out the window when we resort to panicked responses that leave us even more subect to danger.
Lately I've been seeing tunnel vision happen in my life, though thankfully not in the sense of attackers with deadly weapons. Rather the "threat" that I've seen myself focusing in on is my lack of income. I've been unemployed now for almost 3 months with little to no income coming in. When I left my old job (due to disagreement to business practices) I had planned ahead of time, saving enough money for a few months rent, bills, etc. I knew that things would be hard and that it would take me a while to find a job, but I had full confidence that God would provide a job for me. But as the weeks passed by, and then the months, I found that confidence edging away. My thoughts would continually come back to the fear that I wouldn't find a job, that I wouldn't be able to pay my rent, that somehow God wouldn't keep his promise to take care of me. And try as I might my mind would circle back to my bank account, to my expenses, and to Sallie Mae's impertinent emails. The threat of not having a dependable income bypassed all my other concerns and seemed the most imminent priority to deal with.
My tunnel vision got to the point where I couldn't even appreciate all of the amazing things that God is providing for me or blessing me with in other areas of my life. Instead of seeing how my free time is enabling me to support and be there for my friends, I would feel guilty that I wasn't doing something "more meaningful" than blessing other people. Instead of recognizing my volunteering hours as an opportunity for growth and further service, I would feel slighted that I wasn't getting something more lucrative out of my time. And instead of being grateful for my health, my lovely new apartment, my safety, my loved ones, and for crying out loud my eternal salvation through redemption in Christ's blood, I found myself subconsciously resenting God for not giving me what I really need (as if I were to know what was in the first place). In my tunnel vision, I was sinning against the living God. And the potential damage of this is far more serious than any physical consequence that might result from a lack of income.
Tunnel vision in the physical and the spiritual sense are alike in that they remove us from the bigger picture of what's going on. For every one element that we narrowly focus in on, we're missing out on one hundred other elements that are simultaneously and significantly impacting us. And without seeing that bigger picture, how can we possibly expect to react appropriately? Truth, and the truth of where we are (in every sense of the phrase) is all encompassing, and our vision of it needs to be accordingly comprehensive. We must never lose sight of the bigger picture.
So how to we avoid tunnel vision? We train. We train and train until we come to believe and to trust that the techniques we practice without a weapon are exactly the same and just as effective in a situation with a weapon. We practice with substitutes for weapons until the martial arts techniques replace even our natural tendency toward tunnel vision. Indeed, the art itself becomes our instinct and what we act upon first and foremost. This is not to suggest that we will be without fear when someone draws a deadly weapon on us. No amount of training can prepare you fully for a life threatening situation. But in the instance that it does come, we turn first to what is proven beneficial instead of to what is unknown and fear driven.
If someone comes at us with a knife, we need to trust that all of the training we've ever done is still effective and beneficial for our situation. If we're facing hardships, we need to trust that all of God's promises are still just as true as they ever were. Whatever the threat may be, it might change our situation but it does not change the truth. God alone is the Creator, and he alone is sovereign over this universe. God never breaks his promises. Ever. He is unchanging from eternity past to eternity future and we can trust that the truth of the Gospel will never change. God is the rightful king to the ultimate throne and the entirety of our lives should be lived in light of what he has done for us. We must train in righteousness according to this truth, putting into practice our trust in the Lord and his ways, so that however trying our circumstances may be our natural response will be faith in the Lord.
Yes, I need a source of income. God knows this. But his word tells me to seek first His kingdom, and I will trust that this really is what I need first and foremost. God has already resolved the biggest problem that I could ever face- atonement for my sin- and in light of that bigger picture, there is no reason to fear.
Are you able to see the bigger picture in your circumstances?
What do you have tunnel vision on right now?
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